Ben’s Story

Going too far: how one young man learned to behave towards others

Ben was a victim of sexual abuse as a young child. When he arrived at the farm, his behaviour was so bad he had to be kept away from the others.

Lesley takes up his story:

I had to have him on a one-on-one basis for three years.

And every time he would come out with something that was inappropriate, I would ask him to think.

Then he started to come on the program with other young boys. None would socialise with him. Eventually one young boy, a real sweetheart, made friends with him. This young bloke would stand up to him, then they would sort it out and have a laugh.

I introduced what we call a Think Board.

The idea behind the Think Board is: “Is it true, helpful, inspirational, necessary, kind?”

We got to the point where I slowly introduced a young mentoring girl who was a bit of a street kid, so she didn’t mind his his behaviour.

Throughout that time she would tell him really honestly how he was making her feel. The result was that he knew he had offended her.

He started to understand the impact of his behaviour, and slowly he started to think a little bit about what he was saying.

This boy now mixes with all the young girls on the farm.

He’s had a horrendous life but the farm is his home.

I now have no worries about his behaviour, and I’m really proud to say I know he is a young man who is slowly creating a new way of being.

Which is really awesome.